Grief and loss are difficult experiences that we all face at one point or another in our lives. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a pet, a job, or a relationship, the pain can be overwhelming and the road to healing can seem long and arduous.

However, it is important to remember that grief is a natural and necessary process, and it is possible to navigate it in a healthy and constructive way.

One important aspect of navigating grief and loss is allowing yourself to feel the emotions that come with it. It is natural to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and even numbness. It is important to acknowledge and validate these emotions, rather than trying to suppress them or push them aside.

Talk to a trusted friend or family member, or consider seeking support from a therapist or support group.

Another important aspect is self-care. It is important to take care of yourself during this difficult time, both physically and emotionally. This may include eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep and exercise, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and comfort.

Finally, it is important to give yourself time and space to grieve. Healing is a process, and it takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself, and remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Allow yourself to move through the process at your own pace, and seek support when you need it.

This post will probably be all over the place, but so are my emotions so we’re going with it.

Recently my life’s journey has taken me on the path of grief.

My husband and I suffered a tremendous loss in our lives only several weeks ago.

A loss so profound I can’t even comprehend it most days.

Now, I have experienced loss before, but this has been uncharted territory.

It didn’t just hit “close to home” it WAS home.

I have been with my husband for almost 12 years, and with that relationship came a beautiful father/ daughter-in-law bond as the cherry on top.

My husband has the most amazing dad, and witnessing their true friendship was one of my favorite things to enjoy.

I never in a million years imagined this as the reality we would be living so soon.

And even if I could have imagined it, nothing could ever prepare me for it.

Heartbroken doesn’t even capture how I’m feeling, hasn’t scratched the surface.

This is beyond words, and yet I am writing this hoping it does something.

At the very least it will give me a sliver of peace getting these thoughts out.

OR

This post reaches someone battling their own grief who needs to see it. (I’m hoping it’s this one)

There’s no layout or outline for this. I’m just laying in bed at 10:30 pm, and missing my father-in-law.

If you’re reading this maybe you’re missing someone too.

If you are, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you can relate to this deep ache. The gnawing on your insides that make you feel nauseous. The emptiness you feel when everyone else carries on as normal when you know your life will never be “normal” again.

I’m sorry you have to settle for this new reality – one you never planned for, one that feels like you’re going off to war and never coming home.

I wish this post had some uplifting turning point, a happy ending.

Sadly, no.

This is about grief, and right now I’m in the thick of it.

What I do understand is even though it will hurt forever, it wont always hurt this much. Not quite sure how I feel about that just yet, because time passing without him feels sour. But, I’ll hold onto it and see.

I have found myself going through the stages of grief, thinking I’m progressing and then regress back to the first stage. A very cruel cycle.

What I deeply understand is that grief is not linear

There is no timeline, and the only way is through it. The pain is unlike anything I have felt before, its such a profound loss for my family and I. I just cant wrap my head around this being our new reality. It has been 6 weeks already, but Im not sure how we’re doing it. Somehow we are though, and for that I am grateful.

Keep reading for a more in depth explanation on the stages of grief.

I hope this helps you on your journey. ♡

Stages of grief refer to the emotional and psychological processes that a person goes through when they experience a significant loss

The five stages of grief, as identified by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Denial is the first stage of grief

It is a state of shock and disbelief where the person cannot accept the reality of the loss. They may feel numb and may try to avoid the situation or the feelings associated with it.

I will never forget that night. That was the first time my legs felt heavy, literally started aching trying to keep myself upright.

Sundays will never be the same again.

Anger is the second stage of grief

It is a natural response to feelings of helplessness and loss of control. The person may feel angry towards themselves, others, or the world in general. They may feel a sense of injustice and question why this loss had to happen to them. A mix of anger and unfairness is totally normal and common.

What amplifies the anger is definitely my father in law being taken away from my son. My son got 1 year with his grandpa, and I’ll admit I’m struggling to accept that. Knowing that whether I do or don’t wont change anything is what angers me. Of course I wanted more time with my father in law, he was quite literally one of my favorite people ever.

But, seeing my husband have to move forward without his dad is devastating. And, knowing that my son is going to have no memory of his grandpa makes me sick.

Bargaining is the third stage of grief

It is an attempt to regain control and find a way to cope with the loss. The person may try to negotiate with a higher power, themselves, or others. They may make promises or try to find a way to reverse the loss.

Depression is the fourth stage of grief

It is a period of intense sadness and mourning. The person may feel overwhelmed, helpless, and hopeless. They may withdraw from others and experience physical symptoms such as loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, and fatigue.

I mourn everyday, and if you do too – that’s okay. Not everyday looks the same. I might shed a few tears at a memory, and smile the next time I think about it. Grief is strange, it makes no sense.

If you’re on this journey we’re all just riding whatever wave we’re met with.

Acceptance is the final stage of grief

It is a time when the person comes to terms with the loss and begins to move forward. They may still feel sad, but they are able to integrate the loss into their life and find a way to live without the person or thing that they have lost.

It is important to note that the stages of grief are not linear and that a person may move back and forth between them before reaching acceptance.

To be completely transparent, I know I haven’t accepted it yet. I can understand the reality, but the magnitude is still too much for me to accept. Im giving myself grace through this, because it was so sudden.

Our lives were completely typical until the moment it just wasn’t anymore.

How my husband & I went from sending reels to each other on instagram to getting the call will haunt me forever.

How quickly things can be pulled out from under you..

Its going to take me awhile to get to the final stage of grief, and that’s to be expected.

Maybe the point of this post is reassuring others as well as myself on this journey.

Reminding you to feel your feelings. Validating you in this difficult time. Its not easy and you’re doing it anyways – that’s strength.

My father in law is literally everywhere we go. He was so present in our lives, and if you’ve lost someone like that I know how profound that type of grief is.

Yes I am grateful that while he was here we loved him, and gave him his flowers. How deserving he was of all the praises that he never sought out to get. A true “lead with love” kind of person, and I was in awe of him. The wisdom, the confidence, the love for people, its not something you see everyday.

With that being said I hope that each one of you carries on a part of your departed loved one with you.

My father-in-law was the biggest extrovert, and I am definitely not that. But, I have made it a personal goal to talk more. Say hi to a stranger, tell them I like their outfit – things I would be too nervous to do otherwise. I know it would make him proud, and that’s all the motivation I need to honor him.

I encourage you all to do the same for your loved ones, it definitely helps me feel closer to him.

If you find yourself debilitated by loss I strongly suggest seeking outside help.

This organization helps many individuals on their healing journey.

See if there is a group near you to offer support during this life transition.

Remember, while grief and loss can be painful and difficult, it is possible to navigate them in a healthy and constructive way. By allowing yourself to feel your emotions, taking care of yourself, and giving yourself time and space to heal, you can begin to find peace and hope for the future.

Stay strong, friend.