Being a Mom Is so Lonely Sometimes

True story, I’m writing this while crying during a HORRIBLE night with my 7 month old.

Not just tears, but full on silent crying so I don’t disturb him as I’m trying to rock him back to sleep.

For the fourth time.

You can have a whole village at your disposal, and being a mom is still going to feel so lonely at times.

I have a wonderful husband who is now the most amazing father to our son, and I still feel it.

It’s hard not to, so don’t feel bad for admitting that.

My son isn’t having the worst night, it’s not like he’s crying non-stop for hours, but he won’t stay asleep. And, I have pulled out all the stops.

Sometimes your kids are just going to have bad nights

It’s overwhelming, and can cause you to have a bad night too.

Let’s be real, at some point in parenthood bedtime becomes our favorite time of day. It feels like you’re about to clock out after a 12 hour shift, and get drinks with some friends.

We love our children, but mommy and daddy need a break.

So, when that “break” turns into hours of tossing and turning, waking up to play, or just downright unhappy – it can cause a downward spiral, because this “break” you had was pretty much non-existent.

Somehow, children don’t act any differently if their night was sub-par.

They are going to get up at the same time they do every morning like it didn’t even happen!

I don’t know about you, but nights like these open the floodgates to everything I am managing constantly.

One thing that has helped me significantly during these rough nights is the mamazen app, which you can find here. It provides sessions, and exercises including meditation and mindfulness.

You can also check out my post on mindfulness if you need tips on how to start!

These kind of nights are still going to be hard, but finding ways to manage your emotions does help the bounce-back (from my experience.)

The weight of being a mom is no joke.

Usually, children prefer their mom – ESPECIALLY when they’re distressed, or need comfort.

My son and husband are besties for sure, but when its bedtime he sees no one but me.

My husband does everything he can, but sometimes your child is just not going to have it.

This was one of those nights.

So, here I am.

Sitting on the edge of my bed in the dark with the glow of our hatch machine keeping me company.

It’s 6:21 am, and after almost 2 hours of back and forth, my son is finally asleep in my arms.

You know that sigh of relief feeling mixed with hesitation of laying them back down?

Yeah, that’s where I’m at.

He’s sleeping peacefully now, and my tears have stopped.

But if I lay him back down and this starts up all over again he wont be the only one crying.

There was no layout for this post, no brainstorming before hand.

This was just a mom having a rough night needing to vent, and being transparent in these moments is helpful to me.

I hope it helps you too.

This journey is hard, beautiful, frustrating, and rewarding.

You’re allowed to feel the not so great feelings that come with the most challenging job in the world.

Creating a safe community is important to me.

If being vulnerable like this can help one mom feel a little less alone, I’m doing exactly what I should be doing.